Saturday August 14, 2010

This morning we were picked up by Albert and Natasha promptly at 7:00 a.m. so we could catch a 7:25 a.m. bus from Simferopol to Feodocia. It was a fairly pleasant ride as it was in the cool of the morning. Today was going to be a most interesting day as Camille and I were going to see Anastasia’s sister, Olga and meet Olga’s parents, who were from Italy. We all were sharing the cost of a taxi to go to the town of Djonkoy to visit Valia (Valentina), Olga’s and Anastasia’s 17 year old sister, who had just given birth to a new baby girl, named Tanya. Valia was living with a guy named Victor, who seems to love Valia and committed to their successful relationship.

On our bus ride down, I was reading in the Book of Mormon, Words of Mormon. A portion from vz 7 gave me a lot of comfort and strength “ . . . And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.” Mormon didn’t know why he was adding in extra pages into his abridged account, but he did it “for a wise purpose: for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me.” Regarding this adoption – as well as Roman and Nadia’s adoption – Cheryl and I do not know all things, but we know the Lord knoweth all things which are to come and that the reason we are doing this is because it is for a wise purpose in Him and that He whispered to us that we were supposed to do this. This gave me renewed strength and courage about the process and about our meeting today with Olga’s parents.

We arrived in Feodocia right about 9:30 a.m. We had our ‘carry-ons’ as well as two suitecase/bags – one filled with toys for the orphanage and another with books/gifts for Tamara (the director of the orphanage) and Vera (our translator). I dragged our two bags and my carryon over to our taxi, which was a mini-van. Our old Ukrainian friend and taxi driver, Vulva had agreed to take us all to Djonkoy.

We had a full van with nine of us. Vulva, Vera and Camille were in the front. Olga’s parents, Marrow and Carla and I occupied the center seats. Olga, Anastasia and Svitsanna, a friend of Anastasia, were in the back seat. Our two suitecase/bags and carry-ons fit nicely in the back of Vulva’s van.

Olga (13 yrs old) is two years younger than Anastasia. She was adopted three years ago, in 2007 – the same year we adopted Roman and Nadia. Olga knew both Russian and Italian. Vera, our translator knew English and Russian, so for us to speak to Marrow and Carla we would need to speak English to Vera, who would translate our English to Russian so Olga could translate the Russian into Italian. Of course for them to speak to us, the process would have to be reversed.

Olga was adopted when she was 10 years old, so was able to quickly pick up Italian. She seemed very comfortable when speaking with her parents.

Calvin, Carla and Marrow Ferrero

Olga, Annastasia and Svitzanna (Anastasia's friend from the orphanage)

If we were eating at a dinner party, the seating arrangements in the van would have been perfect – adults/parents together, giggling girls in back and Vera and Camille in front. However, with the noise of the van, it was not very conducive to have Vera (the English-Russian connection) in the front seat and Olga (the Italian-Russian connection) in the back giggling with her sister and Svitsanna. Not to mention, Vulva loves his music and wanted all of us to enjoy it with him, so he had his music turned up loud enough so that it would easily mask the noise of his old mini-van traveling down the bumpy roads of Ukraine. His choice of music was popular Ukrainian and American pop songs which the girls in the back seat loved.

Marrow and Carla are delightful people. I was surprised at how much we were able to communicate with one another with using broken English and hand gestures. Marrow actually knew a little bit of English and of course, I was relying on my vast Italian vocabulary I had learned while using the bathroom at Macaroni Grill, where Italian lessons are complementary. I was fluent with about three words including “gratzie”, “chow” and “poco”. It also helped using the few Spanish words I knew – Casa (Caza), etc. A few times we did use the Italian-Russian-English pipeline when we could get Olga interested enough to participate in our conversation.

On the way to Djonkoy we stopped at a little market and purchased some oranges, water, fruit juice and of course, it’s not a road trip unless you have a few Ukrainian chocolate bars. Once the girls (including Camille) knew they had some discretion about their purchases - and that I would be paying for it – the chocolate bars surfaced.

We arrived at the bus station in Djonkoy – similar to when we picked up Valia three weeks ago to have her formally document her “o.k.” to have Anastasia adopted without her. Children who are under 18 are allowed to be adopted if they have a younger sibling under the age of 16 being adopted. Since Valia is only 17, she is technically available for adoption since she is not married, even with a child. Once a child hits 16, the door is closed for them to be adopted. While waiting at the bus station, we were able to meet Svitsanna’s parents, who also lived in Djonkoy. They came down to the bus station to see Svitsanna and visit with her. Later on, Camille made the observation that Svitsanna had removed her lip piercing/stud prior to meeting her parents. I guess some things know no cultural boundaries.

I was able to introduce myself to Svitsanna’s parents and briefly visit with them. All the while I was wondering what they had done – or not done – to have their parental rights revoked and have their daughter (and son Dema) raised in an orphanage. I thought it was so weird, especially since we were invited to go to the beach tomorrow, and that Svitsanna’s parents would be at the beach with Svitsanna and Dema. Yet after the beach, the children would go back to the orphanage and the parents back to their home. Perhaps they looked at it like some wealthy parents look at sending their kids away to boarding school for the year and seeing them periodically – on weekends, holidays and during the summer. Most of their parenting and mentoring comming from teachers and nannys. Perhaps it's not so strange if viewed within that context.

At the bus station, we called Valia and agreed to drive a few blocks closer to where we could met up with her. After waiting at the newly designated place, we saw Valia, her new baby and a middle aged lady walking towards us. The lady was Victor’s grandmother (Victor is Valia’s boyfriend). We spent several minutes admiring Valia’s new born baby, taking lots of pictures and observing Anastasia, Olga and Valia renew their sibling affection one for another.

Anastasia, Olga and Valia (Vanentina)

Tanya, Valia's new baby

Tanya, Valia's new baby

Morrow and Carla had told Valia that they wanted to purchase a ‘pram’ or stroller for her new baby, Tanya. We drove over to a row of shops, just behind the Djonkoy ‘market’, which specialized in baby paraphernalia. We all meandered around while Valia and her sisters decided on what stroller would be just right. Is it just me being 13 years out of the baby scene, or is it that European engineering has trumped the Americans in the baby stroller arena? These strollers were so cool! They had big eight inch rubber wheels – not the cheap plastic three inch wheels that graced the strollers we used to use with our children. These babies (the strollers) even had a spring suspension system in them that would help any mother to be victorious in negotiating the broken up sidewalks and pathways which are so common in Ukraine.

Baby supplies shop in Djonkoy

After the purchase of a new stroller


In a way I felt a bit sheepish that we had not offered anything for Valia’s new baby, but felt confident that the cash sum we had given Valia two weeks ago was more than sufficient as a gift of kindness. After Marrow had purchased a stroller for Valia, Vera came up to me and said: “So Calvin, I guess you agreed to purchase a new crib for Valia?” I looked at her with a surprised look on my face and said . . . “no – where did you get that information”? Vera said Anastasia had told her. I went and confronted Anastasia with this news (with Vera translating). I asked Anastasia if she was aware that we gave Valia money last time we were here visiting and she said ‘yes’. I asked her if she knew how much money we gave as a gift and she said ‘yes’. I then asked her where she got the idea that I was going to purchase a crib? Anastasia said: "When I looked into the baby’s eyes I told Valia and Vera that Papa would purchase a crib". Well, what could I say to that? Thirty minutes later I was carrying a crib up five flights of stairs to where Victor and Valia lived.

Valia with new crib

Camille, waiting outside Valia's apartment

A couple of babushkas outside Valia's apartment

Camille and Anastasia sharing a milkshake (milk which has flavoring in it and then it is 'shaked' - no icecream)

Vera, our translator, at lunch

Camille and Anastasia

Anastasia and Papa dancing to music from a nearby wedding party




After the stroller/crib purchasing ordeal, we all went to a restaurant and had a nice lunch. This was the same restaurant we (Cheryl and I) went to on our prior visit to Djonkoy to see Valia. On the way home, I started to have a few uncomfortable stomach cramps. I knew that things were pent up inside and asked Vulva, to pull over at the next stop where we could use a toilet. Well let me just say that I am officially “in the club” now that I have used an outside Ukrainian gas station toylette. I think all my nose hairs were singed off at the pungent smell of ammonia which shot through my nose.

"Arnolds" gym - at the base of the apartment complex we stayed in while Cheryl and I were in Feodocia. Carla and Marrow were staying in an apartment in the same complex. After arriving back in Feodicia, Vulva dropped them off and then took us to our hotel.

The sign to "Arnolds" gym


Camille and I were able to stay in a little hotel right in the center of town which was priced right. We were within walking distance to the center of town. After arriving back in Feodicia, Camille and I went wandering through all the little stands/kiosks which line the water front of Feodicia. We drank Kvas and diet coke, had our picture with a live peacock, shopped for souvenirs and ate ice cream. We then went to eat at Greenwich, which is a nice café which serves food cafeteria style. This is always good because you can see what you are ordering, which is usually a safe way to go. I then gave Camille the ultimate experience, a ride home in a hot, sweaty people-filled Ukrainian bus. “Velcom to Ukraine!” We had a blast!

Camille with a peacock on the Feodocia boardwalk





Calvin enjoying a bottle of Kvas at dinner (Calvin's new favorite drink)